Getting Older in the New Year

Another holiday season come and gone. Memories still fresh of visits with relatives and friends, we set boldly off into the new year full of hope and expectations. For us, memories of seeing our kids, me meeting the grandkid for the first time, seeing my mom, and having good times with friends. This time of year tends to be bittersweet, the excitement of the new year, tempered by the melancholy of saying goodbye, yet again, to family and friends at “home.”

Home. Never before has Thomas Wolfe’s novel, “You Can’t Go Home Again” been more apropos. Maybe it’s living in a hotel room. Maybe it’s the feeling of being on vacation, rather than home. I don’t know. All I know is this trip, while filled with wonderful visits, felt more like a vacation that at any other time. Going home this time meant the return trip to Seattle.

Home. We visited my Mom at her house. Her house. The house I lived in from age 13 until I went into the Navy. The house I returned to after getting out of the Navy. But it’s her house now. I’m not in the house anymore. Old pictures of me still hang on the wall, but the man I became is nowhere to be found. It’s a feeling not unlike visiting a long lost aunt. Pleasant, but sterile. Searching for memories that have long since faded away with the paint.

Home. Home is where the heart is, or so they say. Hell, if that were the case we’d all be home all the time. No, I don’t think that’s right. Home for me is when Beth comes home from work and I have a fire going, cats all clamor around her like she’s been gone for years. She gets them their snacks, and settles in. Home. Home is finding a long lost vest in an unopened box of treasures in the garage. Home is sitting around on a Sunday, reading the paper, drinking coffee and watching the rain.

Home. Home isn’t a place or a time or a thing. It’s a feeling we get. Cozy. Warm. Comforting. It’s being with the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. It’s looking forward to creating new memories, meeting new friends, keeping in touch with old ones. Home is a warm, content cat on your lap as you do the crossword. Home.

You know, the more I think of it, maybe home really is where the heart is. All I know is, I’m home.

Best wishes to you all for a wonderful new year and beyond.

Gregor



Posted on January 4th, 2010 in Banter by Gregor.
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